Renhai Studio Archives

A Collection of Renhai by members of The Renhai Studio

Against the Cold

A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Betty Kaplan (bk)

Mountain hut —
we huddle around the one
cooking pancakes. /vs

Sheltered under a bridge — /vs
a homeless man finding warmth. /bk

Cold winter night —
she protects the outside plants
with plastic. /bk

Archive Id: 16
Vaughn Seward: Canada
Betty Kaplan: USA
Written:: April 24, 2008

Theme: Sheltered
Season: Winter
Kigo: Winter night
Verse Form: 2-3-2, 3-3, 2-3-2 (Rhythm)
Process: Forward

Links 1/2: Huddle.
Links 2/3: Under (Bridge / Plastic); Cooking / Warmth.
Links 3/1: Surround / Around; Home/Hut.

Notes: There was a discussion in the Renhai Workshop about the word "finding" in verse 2. Some suggested "finds" sounds better but Betty felt that "finding" provides a less final feeling, that the homeless man is in the process of finding warmth but has not quite found it yet.

An interesting linkage situation with this rehai is that v.1 is inside, v.3 is outside, and verse 2 is sort of inside and outside. Also, it is interesting to note that there are people in all three verses.