Renhai Studio Archives

A Collection of Renhai by members of The Renhai Studio

Festive Table

A Renhai by Polona Oblak (po) & Vaughn Seward (vs)

Stubble field —
deer tails flash
in the mist. /po

A bed of withering grass — /vs
wasps feed on windfall apples. /po

Festive table —
forks appear as mother
brings out the pie. /vs

Archive Id: 75
Polona Oblak: Slovenia
Vaughn Seward: Canada
Written:: October 7-10, 2008

Theme: Covered
Season: Autumn
Kigo: Stubble field; Withering grass; Windfall apples; Festive meal with pie
Verse Form: 2-3-2, 3-3, 2-3-2 (Rhythm)
Process: Forward

Links 1/2: Grass / Stubble; Crop (Stubble / Apples).
Links 2/3: Food, eating.
Links 3/1: Appearing (pie) / Disappearing (deer).

Notes: The theme, "Covered" in this Renhai is a little on the subtle side. In verse 1 fields are covered with mist and the deer are somewhat covered or hidden from view (deer, when sensing danger, expose their white hind side as a warning to others, and dash for cover). In verse 2 the fallen apples cover the grass and the wasps to some extent cover the apples. In verse 3 the food, dishes, cutlery, and the elbows of the hungry eaters cover the table.

Technical note: Polona actually wrote the first line, "wasps feed on windfall apples." and then Vaughn wrote the other line, "A bed of withering grass". It was agreed that the verse reads better with Polona's line appearing second. The 1st and 3rd verses were also switched around for poetic reasons (function trumps form).