Renhai Studio Archives

A Collection of Renhai by members of The Renhai Studio

Summer

A Renhai by Vaughn Seward (vs) & Janice Thomson (jt)

Driftwood tangle —
gentle tongue of the tide
steals the beach. /jt

Weathered fence post — /vs
a straw hat sways in the wind. /jt

We cross the field
in Grampa's model T -
sun-tinged hood. /vs

Archive Id: 96
Vaughn Seward: Canada
Janice Thomson: Canada
Written:: November 16-21, 2008

Theme: Feeling of a Carefree Summer Day; Old/weathered
Season: Summer
Kigo: Bright sun; Straw hat
Verse Form: 2-3-2, 3-3, 2-3-2 (Rhythm)
Process: Forward

Links 1/2: In/out (tide) / Back/forth (hat).
Links 2/3: Fence post / Field.
Links 3/1: Crossing (Field / Tide flats).

Notes: This Renhai was an experiment in a particular type of linking. The idea of linking in Renhai comes from the linking in Japanese Renga, Renku, and Rengay verse forms. There are various types of linking including:

    -Objects.
    -Actions.
    -Reflection and Echo.
    -Run-on (narrative).
    -Scent.

The Scent type linking in Japanese collaborative verse is considered one of the "highest" forms of linking as it involves linking or matching an emotion felt in each verse, often being just a subtle nuance. For example, if one verse depicts something lonely, the other verse might depict something else lonely but in other respects there might not be any other linking between the two. In many cases the common emotion between the two verses can be very difficult to put into words.

We had written the 2-line middle verse before deciding to try this experiment in linking. When reviewing it for theme ideas we found there was a subtle feeling of a warm summer day, of the wind blowing through the grain fields, of the hat's owner perhaps being called to lunch suddenly, etc. It had a sort of a carefree, happy feeling. The first and third verses were therefore written to carry this theme.

The word "weathered" in the middle verse adds to the rustic, rural feeling and so Old/Weathered emerged (unintentionally) as a secondary theme, albiet a more obvious one. We therefore chose "Summer" as the title to hint at our intended theme.